…Wanker, Banker or Tanker…

…A wanker, a banker or a tanker…

…The Wanker – We can resign to our “fate” and live life the way it is now. Be it good or bad. We shut ourselves out from this world and are only concerned in indulging in spur-of-the-moment activities. Long term planning is not really on our list since most of what we dreamed of will never come true anyway. What comes, we take. We will not dare ask for more and neither will we dare to dream big dreams. Expectations of ourselves and our self-confidence is low. We love to play with ourselves…

…The Banker – We strive for success but are often limited by our way of thinking. We can be caught in situations where we have to submit to a higher figure (e.g. employer and employee relationship). We are happy living in the comfort zone but often complain about it to buddies. We are contradicting people. We will like to live out our big dreams but fear holds us back. Overall, we blend well into society because we look just the same as any other bloke walking down the street…

…The Tanker – We are specialised people operating specialised equipment used only in very specialised times. People lives depend on us as we maneuvre our beast through the war zone. We are risk takers. We live for each moment and die with no regrets (ok, maybe some for a few).  If we succeed, we are heroes. If we do not, people are not going to remember us anyway. We are often driven by taking pride in all we do and are loyal to our beliefs. We are called upon only when necessary. In our spare time, we just retire to our bunks and let our minds run wild…

…who will you choose to be today?…

…Too Late?…

…When you arrive late and people have already jumped on the train, is that good or bad?…

…If that train heads to crash, then I am thankful. But if that train heads to the Promised Land, I will be having “sad shit” as my middle-name…

…Why is it that I am always late by just that much?…

I want to start something NOW, but where the hell are you?

Look, if you want to make it, find me.

…The Boat…

…If i were to build a boat, would you like to hop on it and come ride with me?…

…However, if the journey is rough, will you still be with me?…

…If the journey is smooth, will you stick with me till the end?…

…The boat, although small in size, is not a reflection of my selfishness, but rather, it means that only those special ones will be sharing it with me…

…I need the blueprint, I need the manpower, I need the dream…

…Had Enough…

…I’ve had enough of suppression, 5 years of suppression to be exact…

…I’ve had enough of being left behind in this race…

…I’ve had enough of giving my Aces away…

…I’ve had enough of shunning attention, fame or power…

…I’ve had enough of not being me…

I am stepping out.

now.

…Indecisive…

…A common sighting on the road is that of drivers who love to hog both lanes at the same time. Half of their vehicle is travelling in Lane A while the other half in Lane B…

…Is it really that tough to make a decision?…

…With this, I realise that in life, we often get caught in indecisive situations. I guess it is probably due to fear of the consequence or unknown (which often turns out harmless) that makes us this way. Maybe we do not wish to be the one responsible for what happens (therefore we allow others to decide for us) or simply because, we have too much choices in life…

…Simplicity is really a blessing…

…Be courageous. Take the plunge. If your heart or mind or research or statistics convince you to do or choose something, then stick to it. Do not be afraid of regrets. If you are really worried, I suggest you can think of the “worst case scenario” and write it down on paper. Then, after visualizing it, you will realise that it is not THAT bad after all!…

…So make your decisions today. There will never be a perfect time for perfect conditions to fit. If the results do turn out  to be disappointing, then take it as a valuable lesson learnt. If the results turn out well, then rejoice. Either way it goes, we know that it will benefit us eventually. The difference lies only in the state of mind…

…And therefore I’ve  decided to…

…Lianhe Wanbao Interview…

Here is an interview I did last week with Lianhe Wanbao.

Many thanks to Lianhe Wanbao and Yuneng for setting up this interview!

Lianhe Wanbao Interview 240110

For those who missed out on the article, there is a summary of it here:

http://news.omy.sg/Showbiz/E-News/Story/OMYStory201001241630-122699.html

For those who do not understand Chinese, basically the interview was a simple write-up about me and my involvement with music. I sold my first song at age 17, however it was only 5 years later that I sold my next (which was lucky enough to be a hit). The article also highlighted how I felt back then and all the excitement and disappointment I faced along the way. The interview ended with my thoughts for people out there who wish to do music.

To add, I cannot help but further emphasise the need to have good discipline, proper conduct and maintaining integrity while in this biz. Without good discipline, we will lose focus of our goals. Without conduct, we degrade ourselves and pull others down. Without integrity, we lose the respect and trust of others as well as that of our own.

And to bind it all together, we need to exercise gratitude. We must always be thankful towards those people that have helped us along the way and practice generosity in return. We must NEVER forget them. Even when years have passed and today you are famous and successful, always remember that: we are just dots connected in a big picture. Every dot in the picture makes a difference on its look as a whole.

So where will you be today without that one (or more) dot(s)?

Dayvlight

…A Truly Purposeful Life…

I’d like to share this article with you.  May it shine light upon your life:

A truly purposeful life

The National University of Singapore Business School, in a recent survey, found that Singaporeans with university degrees or earn S$5000 or more a month are the happiest. Yet they are unhappy with their lot and enjoy life the least, compared to others who make less money.

This unhappiness, says the Straits Times editorial of the Sunday Times (17 January 2010) “could stem from their higher, unfulfilled expectations.”  The high-incomers probably define their happiness as having fine food, fancy cars and fabulous homes. But this kind of happiness is only physical and external and, as such, very limited.

These “successful” high-incomers are generally dissatisfied and unhappy probably because they keep measuring themselves against others. Other people may be perceived to be “happy,” but in reality they, too, have their own issues.

Moreover, happiness is not a regular event like one’s work, meals, or toilet, and one’s circumstances often change. The point is that we are unlikely to be really happy if we define our happiness by others’ standards; for, it is a form of emotional dependence.

Many thinking Buddhists would also say that happiness has to do with our purpose in life. But first, we need to understand what “purpose” here really means. If there is any purpose in life, I would say that it is to grow. Understandably, this does not mean merely growing old, ending in death, as this happens whether we wish it or not. A very important purpose of life, in fact, must be to grow up, that is, to grow spiritually.

To grow in the spirit is to understand at least two important things. First, it has to do with happiness, which for our present purpose can be said to be a feeling of interconnectedness with everyone (especially those we love) and with everything around us.

Secondly, growing spiritually means that we see the physical world and material things are only means to an end, and not ends in themselves. Money, for example, is what money buys. What we buy or keep should be guided by necessity and wisdom.

An effective way of living happily is to have a wholesome purpose-driven life. Such a purpose can be merely instrumental (such as working hard to be able to bring happiness to those we love) or intrinsic, that is, being passionate about what we believe in and do. An intrinsic purpose of life must be a wholesome one because we enjoy doing it for itself. Not only are we happy doing it, but it benefits others, too.

We can never be truly happy by ourselves while others around us suffer; that is, if we are really wholesome beings capable of being moved by goodness and compassion. In this sense, we can be happy by being devoted to something bigger than our self.

This sense of something bigger than our self is naturally something that transcends the notion of a personal self. We first need to understand or at least accept that any notion of self is merely a limiting construct, a wall to keep others out of our lives. We begin to break down this cold wall by doing something as simple as giving up a seat in a train to someone who needs it more, or something more difficult such as switching off our phones in a study class and giving our undivided attention and respect to another (the teacher or speaker), or something much bigger like doing beneficial social work.

For me that bigger-than-self task is the Sutta Discovery translation work which I always look forward to after my daily duties of parenting, teaching and counselling have been done. It is a joyful adventure I always look forward to. And then there is the joy of teaching these Suttas to a Dharma-moved audience. And to know that there are others who are studying or teaching these Suttas themselves. For, this is the on-going education of our Buddhist community for their happy future.

My wife Ratna enjoys working with our children’s school’s parents’ association, getting more parents, involved in their children’s education and the school itself. She is also a very compassionate and effective mentor of ex-inmates from the Boys’ and Girls’ Homes. She is simply happy to see her mentees grow and progress happily. In fact, she is so good that she has been commended by the Ministry of Community Development, Youth and Sports.

Yet, we all know that such happiness is the fleeting by-product of doing what we are good at, and enjoying it. We also know that this happiness is the fruit of a deeper happiness in the Buddha’s Teachings of emotional independence.

Emotional independence means that our view of success, our happiness, is not dependent on other’s praises, nor from financial gains, nor status and titles, nor fame. To be emotionally independent means to see our own inner joyful stillness, especially through the Buddha’s methods of mental cultivation.

The Buddha’s methods of mind-training bring us true happiness that is the profound peace and joy of the aloneness of our still mind. This spiritual aloneness not only dispels worldly loneliness (which arises through lack of inner peace), but also empowers us abandon our self-centredness, superstitions (dependence on succour from external sources), and self-doubt (that we can liberate ourselves from evil and suffering through our own efforts). This is fact is the first step on the path to awakening.

Piya Tan ©2010 100117
More info on Mr Piya Tan here:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Piya_Tan

http://dharmafarer.org/wordpress/

Dayvlight

…How To Use ATMs Effectively…

…As we all know, queuing up at ATMs can be frustrating at times. Especially during peak hours, at hot locations or simply at the start (or end) of each month (depending on your pay day). Here are some possible ideas I have thought about. If you have yours, please share!…

…1. Single Queue – At times, there could be various ATMs lined up next to each other. But having multiple queues for each individual ATM is not a good solution. Picture this: Imagine a person (let’s call him, “A”) is taking up a longer than usual time at the machine and holds up everyone in the queue. However, the queue for the ATM next to the one he is at is moving at a faster pace. Upon seeing this, the people in A’s queue get impatient and start blaming themselves, A and perhaps, the weather for it. Now imagine if it is a single queue, we may get even distribution. People DO NOT have to waste their time just because another user takes up more time.  Instead, everyone has a fair chance to use the next readily available machine…

…2. Put The Clock Away – Put anything that has a time display out of sight. We will only get more impatient when we start taking note of how much time we are spending in queue. Even 5 minutes may seem like forever…

…3. Be Prepared – Always take out the cards that you need to use for the transaction just BEFORE your turn. Taking them out earlier puts you at risk for suffering from impatience (“oei, quick leh! i’m ready!”). Taking them out when it is already YOUR turn makes you waste even more time and increases your chances of fumbling and dropping stuffs from your wallet all over the floor…

…4. Think Smart – If you are curious to know your bank balance after making a withdrawal, why not opt to print a receipt (for the eco-friendly: we can also use the receipt to make notes or as a bookmark)? It is time consuming to make a withdrawal *eject card* and to check our bank balance separately *insert card again*. Likewise, if the MRT station is just next door, why not head there to top your EZ Link card (POSB/DBS users) instead? The rest of us in the queue cannot make cash withdrawals from a Transitlink Booth. So think smart and be considerate…

…5. Do Not Hog – Once transaction is complete, kindly move away. I noticed how some people sort their wallets, check receipts and make phone calls at the machine after use. Totally ignoring the queue that is behind them…

Dayvlight

…Dealing With Difficult People…

A great talk on the subject of “dealing with difficult people”…

…What Triggers You?…

…Who pulls your trigger?…

…When we come into contact with something (or someone), we develop a certain form of reaction. This comes in the form of feelings that can be split into 3 categories: Positive, Negative or Neutral. I do not recommend that we embrace any of them because feelings, like all conditioned phenomena, are impermanent…

…When we develop positive feelings, we are afraid of losing them and hence we suffer. When we develop negative feelings, we dislike them and suffering ensues. When we develop neutral feelings, we become ignorant to the matter and we suffer too. The solution to this is to note that all feelings arise and pass away and we should not cling on to any of them. We should also note that suffering is part of life and we do not go about denying its existence. We only bring about greater pain if we go round running away from suffering but we may find peace and joy when we learn to understand its true nature…

…So when someone or something triggers our feelings today, are we reacting to it based on our past or present experience? I’d like to share the following excerpt from Ajahn Sumedho‘s book entitled The Mind and The Way:

“…When we look at objects and name them, we think we know them. We think we know this person or that person because we have a name or a memory of them. We think we know all kinds of things because we remember them. Our ability to know, sometimes, is of the conditioned sort – knowing about, rather than knowing directly…”

…Therefore a good practice is, when a feeling arises, we should note it either as a positive, negative or neutral feeling. Do not label them with names e.g. happy, angry or sad etc. Once we start noticing these emotions are simply “feelings”, our reaction towards that particular situation is kept in check. The next thing to do is to investigate. We may ask ourselves, “what is this feeling that I am experiencing now? Why am I feeling this way? What is the root of the problem?”. For people who are feeling angry, you will notice that your anger subsides each time u raise a question to your feelings. Once investigation is done, we note it and watch how it simply arises and passes away. Like all conditioned phenomena, they are impermanent…

…So what triggers you today? Is it really the person or object that is making you feel this way now? OR is it simply a creation of your own mind based on past conditioning?…

Dayvlight